Day 3: Off to Singapore

We are flying home today and we have such a long journey ahead, with a stopover in Kuala Lumpur. From today onwards I doubt I will get much sleep until after the wedding since we have so much to do. But I don't mind all the work, as long as everything goes well! I will be in touch again when we get to Singapore.

Day 4: Office Surprise

It's my last day at work today before I fly and also the day for our monthly staff meetings.

The first thing on the agenda was to present me with a card and gift vouchers. I was so taken by surprise I didn't know how to react!

It was so sweet, thoughtful and generous of everyone to chip in for the gift and I was really chuffed, not by the value of the gift but by their kind gesture.

Roger has also been coming home with cards given to him by his colleagues, and we have also received some from neighbours and other friends.

The neat pile of cards is accumulating in our spare bedroom and we haven't opened any of them yet.

We will when we return from Singapore, as man and wife.

Day 5: Speeches and Games

My maid-of-honour made a boo-boo yesterday! She accidentally emailed me details of the games they'll be playing in the morning with R and his entourage when he comes to collect me at my place.

When she realised her mistake, she wrote to make sure I wasn't going to tell R the answers. "I'll kiiiiillll you if R manages to guess it in like 5 seconds!!!" she threatened. It's been like 24 hours and I have done well. The girls' secret plan is safe with me.

The girls are also working on their speeches and the maid-of-honour this time, has reminded everyone not to repeat her mistake by sending the stuff to me, so there can be an element of surprise.

I can safely predict Sunday will be an emotional day for me, I'm just hoping I don't get too tearful!

Day 6: Mum steps up

My mother has taken a rather laidback role in the wedding but as the days draw closer, she has finally assumed the duties of the bride's mother!

On Sunday she phoned me to confirm she'll be getting the Double Happiness stickers, brew the longan tea, organise our temple visit in the morning and order some Lao Po Bing (Wives' Cookies) for R to bring to my house on the day of Guo Da Li (Delivery of Betrothal Gifts).

This will be on Saturday, Mid-Autumn's Festival. R will have to present some money, two Mandarin oranges, one cake and the Lao Bo Bing, to my mother and grandmother. In addition, we have prepared some traditional Welshcakes.

I'll let you know how we get on!

Day 7: Packing

We are flying Air Asia X and we only have a baggage allowance of 15kg. So I am only taking a few items of clothing while the rest of my bag is currently stuffed with everything I need for the wedding. Champagne, British snacks, gifts for family, all my artwork and DIY bits and pieces.

I have put the two bottles of champagne in two empty shoe boxes and wrapped them snugly with the clothes. Unfortunately, since we didn't buy them from duty free, we wouldn't be able to hand-carry the bottles and would have to fit them in the luggage. Still, there shouldn't be a problem if I make sure there is enough cushioning to absorb any impact the luggage might may subjected to.

I am almost done packing, all I need is to fit in my toiletries bag and sort out my hand luggage. Right now, I need to see to the mountain of paperwork for my visa application. I have even bought a 30-pocket clear folder to get organised- that gives you an idea of how many documents I have!

Day 8: The ring arrived

We left the ordering of R's ring a little too late and freaked out earlier in the week when we realised rings which fit his finger (read: chunky) were not readily available on the high street.

If we ordered them from the shops' warehouse, it would take a few weeks to arrive but we didn't really have that much time on our hands. I was really panicking but thankfully I found a jeweller online which had a wide selection of plain wedding bands in different sizes.

They were very helpful and prompt in processing the order when they realised we needed it urgently. We got the ring posted to us in less than four days and it is now safely packed in our bags.

Talk about drama.

Day 9: DIY my way #4

Today I finished designing my placecards and seating plan. I got them printed at the local printers and sliced them into the right size this afternoon.

I had originally toyed with the idea of getting a calligrapher to write each name on the placecards. There are so many people out there with beautiful handwriting (above) and their end products look so elegant.

But once again, it is not cheap so the other day I just decided that I should just design and make my own. I've also created a pin-up seating plan so guests can refer to it to see which table they have been assigned to.

Another item off the list!

Day 10: Best Man's Gift

We got our Best Man a gift and it arrived in the post today. It's really really red and we hope he will like it. We had been agonising over this for a while but hopefully it would be a gift my cousin will like and appreciate! Only time will tell.

Day 11: Last birthday as a single girl

I am happy today because it's my birthday and I'm spending it with R. He bought me a big bunch of flowers and gave me a card which on "For my Fiancee" on the front. He said from next year on he'll be buying cards which read "To my Wife". I think that's kinda sweet. 

And today we finally ordered all the accessories R needs. A nice white cotton shirt, tie and his ring. I hope they will be OK and arrive by the end of the week. 

My bridesmaids' hair accessories arrived from Arizona on Monday and they aren't really what I expected but I'm hoping the girls will look nice with them in their hair. 

So far, I know three people who have donated to the charities, so thank you once again Ms Wong, Ms Tong and Ms Low! 

I'm starting to feel very nervous as the day creeps closer! 

Day 12: Gymming

We joined the gym a few months back. We both needed to lose some weight to look good on our big day, so we've been regularly hitting the gym together. It's not my favourite activity and sometimes I feel so lazy I really don't want to work out. But it definitely helps that we are doing it together so we can spur each other on. I haven't seen the weight shedding dramatically but I am more toned and R can now fit into his old size 31 Levis. No pain no gain?

Day 13: Lifting

These few nights R has been practising lifting heavy me, just in case he is made to do it on the wedding day and finds he can't! Poor R. 

Day 14: To be PR or not to be PR

I have to apply for my spousal visa. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to continue working and living legally in the UK.

For the moment, R doesn't need to apply for Singapore Permanent Residency since we have no plans to move back to Singapore, but we thought he may as well just do it. The form is only a few pages long and the instructions seem fairly simple.

And do you know what's the best thing of all? It only costs S$100. Only 10 times cheaper than how much my UK visa fee is going to cost me.

This is so unfair!

Day 15: Paperwork

I've been finding I have little time to do the things I need to before the wedding. You see, it's not just about the luncheon. It's also about sorting a whole load of paperwork, and it's been difficult tracking if I've got every single thing covered.

For example, I need to prepare a list of documents we need at ROM in order for them to process our marriage certificate. I also need to put together a big folder of passport photos, bank statements, pay slips, evidence of correspondence, mortgage statements, and get them all photocopied in order for the British High Commission to process my spousal visa.

Then I need to get ready all our travel documents, R's Vietnam visa etc. And I need to go to the bank to withdraw all the moola we need to pay people for the wedding, and then get them converted to Singapore dollars when we get back. Then I need to send emails around to remind the contracted suppliers on what they've agreed to provide.

It's getter more and more intense as each day draws closer and I'm just so worried I might forget or lose something important.

Look at all the trouble I have to go through because I didn't choose to marry a Singaporean.

Phfffff....

Day 16: Didn't like the suit

R's mail order suit, shirt, tie arrived in the post today but despite how much they cost, we both didn't like the fabric or the fit at all. The jacket's supposed to be wool but it feel so rough and the fabric is so stiff and drapes so poorly. 

In the end we think he's better off wearing a new suit he has in the cupboard which he's never worn before. We'll return the purchase and go in search for a nice shirt, tie and shoes sometime this week. 

Grooms can be troublesome too. 

Day 17: I donated!

Woke up this morning to find that W sent me an email saying she has donated to LEPRA, one of our preferred charities, instead of buying us the Wedgwood giftware she initially wanted to get. 

She told me she felt very happy for being able to do something nice for the less fortunate and at the same time making our day by doing so. 

I'm really grateful that W took our wishes into consideration even though she could have gone ahead with her original idea. But the feeling of knowing that someone needy benefitted as a result of our special occasion really makes me so much happier than personally receiving a gift.

Today I came across another charity whose work I'd like to support after I saw this video. It's only 4 minutes so watch it and if you would like to help, please go to Save The Children UK to make a donation. Any amount will do, it doesn't need to be equivalent to the cost of a present or a cash gift to us. 

Or, you can also check out LEPRA and Somaly Foundation. 

To us, spreading the love is the most meaningful way of celebrating our love. 

Thank you! 

Day 18: The Wedding Planner

I started out with a great wedding planner at the hotel. She was very friendly, knowledgeable, helpful and accommodating. You know, almost like Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner. So organised and on top of things. 

But she also worked too hard and got burnt out so she quit before she had the chance to finish planning my wedding. We sat around the restaurant at our last meeting to have a cuppa and chatted like friends even though we had a purely business relationship. I was sad to see her go. 

And then I could have cried when her successor screwed up. I just didn't have good vibes about her in the beginning and then when she couldn't even get the measurements of the dining table right so I could buy some tablecloths, I had to seek help from someone high above. Enter her boss, who thankfully managed to redeem the reputation of the hotel through her excellent service and organisational skills. 

Because I have so many little DIY projects to do, I think I have a lot more requests than other brides. I needed to know the dimensions of railings, of tables, of table stands etc. And because I am not physically in Singapore I needed her to send me photos of everything. 

But she's always responded so promptly and positively, never grudgingly doing her job or answering my ton of questions, and that really makes me feel valued as a customer. There were things which I thought I'd have to do myself - such as decorating the napkins, preparing the tea set and tea leaves, bringing my own bowls for little snacks, but each time she'd tell me her staff will help out with these. 

My event generates only a small income for the hotel when you compare it with the traditional 20-table banquets but I have never been made to feel shortchanged just because I am not a big spender. 

It's always so satisfying and enjoyable when I get to work with people who do their best to ensure the job gets done, and properly too.  She's really making me enjoy the process of planning for my wedding rather than have to fret and freak out about things. 

Now I just have to hope she doesn't run off with my husband. 

Day 19: It fits!

The registered parcel from Singapore reached H in London last week and she sent me a photo this morning of her wearing her bridesmaid dress, looking very pleased. Despite the fact that things could have gone horribly wrong in this whole process - wrong fabric used, poor tailoring, wrong length, parcel lost or delayed, I'm amazed we had a happy ending. Thank goodness I didn't insist on all of them wearing the same shoes! It'd have turned into another saga. 

Day 20: Mother of the Bride Dress

My mother finally found some time during the week-long school holiday to look for her MOTB dress. To reflect her Chinese heritage, she wanted to wear a qipao, so I pointed her to Madame Butterfly at Takashimaya as I knew they had nice oriental designs.

Today she sent me a photo of what she bought there. I was unsure of the colour though the cut and design looked very elegant. I much prefer the creamy pink qipao she had made in Shanghai last year but I suppose it's going to depend which she'd feel the most comfortable in.

And I'm glad she has decided to go for a qipao, because not many women of my mother's age would have figures which look good in this body-hugging outfit and I just can't wait for her to flaunt what she's got.

Day 21: Bridemaids' gifts

After a 4 month search for bridemaids' gifts, I finally got everything I needed yesterday and put them all nicely in pretty boxes. It was difficult because again I took the effort to ensure every item is a British product. Though it took a little bit of time, I quite enjoyed scouring for the little bits and pieces to create their unique stash of goodies.

Day 22: Hair flowers

I wanted to get some lovely hair accessories for my bridesmaids but once again everything in the British high street shops were ridiculously expensive, so I decided to check out Etsy again. 

I got in touch with a fantastic lady who lives in Arizona and made her own hair accessories. She didn't have enough flowers in stock but she made the extra effort to visit different florists over several days to help me source for what I wanted. 

The best thing is her charges are very decent and she does not mark up on postage. I had such a enjoyable experience working with her on these hair flowers. 

Can't wait to get them in the post now. 

Day 23: Arrgh

For people who are planning to get married and having a celebratory meal, do let me warn you that the guest list and RSVP is the most most most frustrating part of the process. I wish I had knew this beforehand! I would have just kept it small. Heck I may not even bother having a party. 

There are the people who don't know if they would be coming, need to come or go earlier or later because of other commitments, need special arrangements, want to come then suddenly may not be able to come, don't want to come and then suddenly will pop up, blah blah blah blah blah. 

I want to tear my hair out. 

Day 24: VIP Favours

I decided to get these miniature Green & Blacks Organic Chocolate bars as favours for my family at the VIP table. But having to tie these thin ribbons around them was such a strain on my eyes and hands. The rest of the guests will receive something else, but they will too be British products. I have really made an effort to buy British as much as I can for the event and though that may not seem cost-effective, I have found that if I spend some time looking around, I can usually spot some good buys. I hope these will go down well.

Day 25: Ring Dish

I couldn't believe how much ring pillows cost. Something really plain and simple can easily set you back by £8 - £15. That's really a lot to pay for something which you use only for a few minutes.

Then, inspired by the beautiful customised clay white ring dish I came across on one of the wedding blogs I read, I decided that ring dishes may be a cheaper option.

I bought this light pink heart-shaped dish (which came with two other smaller porcelain containers) from a Dalmatian charity shop online for £3 and tied a short length of cream satin ribbon to secure the rings.

I must say I am pretty pleased with the result!

Day 26: Still sorting out

I am still continuing with my DIY but I haven't got time to post the pictures. Hopefully I will get time to do that tomorrow. I have run out of ribbons again, so I will have to make another trip this week to the haberdashery in the indoor market. 

I also had a last-minute inspiration to source some hair flowers for my bridesmaids so it's back to Etsy once again to see if I can get any good deals. Plus this week, I hope to find some time to package their gifts. 

Have lots to update these few days so stay tuned! 

p.s. have you rsvped? 

Day 27: Busy busy busy

This has been a busy week!

• Monday - Put together photo albums
• Tuesday - Tried on hair accessory bought on Etsy from a cute girl whose tagline is "wedding hair accessories which won't make you gag".Confirmed booking with photographer and videographer.
  
• Wednesday - Decoration bought on eBay turned out to be pretty rubbish so had it refunded and had to get something else
• Thursday -Sorted R's visa for Vietnam, made enquiries about Halong Bay cruise
  
• Friday - Looked at suits for R and booked Intercontinental Hotel
  
• Saturday - Went to get more ribbons, bits and bobs
• Sunday - Sourced for more hair accessories and research on Hanoi

In the coming week I'll need to make travel arrangements for Vietnam, do more DIY, pay the florist and finish writing my speech.

Day 28: His outfit

We spent some time today looking through the internet to see if there are any good suit packages. Initially R wanted to opt for the morning coat, but it really only looks good on men who are taller, so I think we'll go for the traditional suit instead. But with the suit made of wool, I'm hoping the poor guy will not suffer a heatstroke.

Day 29: You've got mail

If we had a bigger budget I would love to have these luxuriously beautiful letterpress invitation cards made, using traditional printing techniques. 

But since our ceremony is not quite so formal, we opted for something cuter and more personalised. 

The invites have been posted today, so do look out for them and let me know what you think! 

Day 30: 30 days

Aaaaargh! 30 days. One month. Four weeks. 

I am seriously freaking out. 

Day 31: No gifts please!

I remember when our managers at the College really wanted us to attend some events but couldn’t really force us to go, they would use the term “strongly encourage”. We would get emails which read, “Dear Colleagues, You are strongly encouraged to attend this talk at the auditorium on Friday.”

So I’m going to borrow their tactic for this purpose. 

My dear guests, you are strongly, strongly, strongly encouraged not to give us any wedding or cash gifts. We won't be able to bring all your gifts back to the UK as we have a very limited luggage allowance. Your presence would be the best gift you could present to us. If you really want to do something for us that would make us happy, we strongly, strongly, strongly encourage you to donate to our preferred charities.

LEPRA

LEPRA is a medical development charity with a mission to restore health, hope and dignity to people affected by leprosy and other diseases of poverty. We currently work in 9 of the world's most deprived countries covering a population of approximately 300 million.

Click here to donate!

The Somaly Mam Foundation

The Somaly Mam Foundation was set up in 2007 to support anti-trafficking organisations and to provide victims and survivors with a platform from which their voices can be heard around the world. Founded by trafficking survivor, Somaly Mam, the Foundation is dedicated to ending sexual slavery around the world.

Click here to donate!

Thank you for making our day! 

Day 32: The girls' dresses

I had no idea this would turn out to be a major international project spanning over 18 months and involving three countries, seven women and four dresses. 

It all began when the girls and I went on a holiday to Bangkok in March 2008 and decided to get the bridesmaids’ dresses sorted there and then. We spent the whole day looking around in different boutiques in the Siam Square area and finally found something that suited everyone in Kissi Kiss, a small shop run by a young designer.

With everyone happy with the design, the designer proceeded to tailor-make the dresses over the next few months. We relied on S to pick up the dresses because she makes frequent work trips to Thailand. But because H couldn’t physically get to Bangkok to be measured up, we had to give the designer one of her existing evening gowns as a guide to make her dress.

But S was too caught up with work in Singapore to make her usual trips to Bangkok in recent months to collect H's dress and had to ask her friend to do us the favour instead. We emailed the designer a few times to let her know we haven’t forgotten the dress and I telephoned her to tell her somebody was on her way to Bangkok to pick it up.

The dress arrived safely in Singapore last week and I believe is now making its way to a post office in Singapore to be mailed to H in the UK. Hopefully it should leave H with enough time to make any alterations if needed.

So much drama just for something different and affordable. Hope it’s all worth the effort!