The Day!

It feels so strange to be married, although I've surprised myself by not shedding a single tear throughout the whole day until I was eventually overcome by emotions when I climbed into bed at 9pm after I washed off the can of hairspray in my beehive and my coat of make-up. There I sobbed uncontrollably in my husband's arms, although I was unsure what I was crying for.

I started the day at 5.30am with hair and make-up lady coming to get me ready. The groom and his male entourage arrived at my place at 7am and had to pass a series of games and tasks (such as reciting Mandarin passages) before my bridesmaids allowed him upstairs to my room to see me and present me with my hand bouquet. We then went to the temple together for a short blessing ceremony before heading to the hotel for the solemnisation.

I was so nervous walking down the steps with the girls and Mum, but it was lovely seeing all my friends and family who filled up the seats and wore bright happy smiles. I thought I would cry during the solemnisation ceremony, but it was over pretty quickly and I remained dry-eyed throughout.

The most fun part was tossing my bridal bouquet after we got married. R kept saying I would drop it on the ground behind me because I was so poor at throwing so I made sure I used all my strength and in the end W, who was right at the back, caught the bouquet! She hasn't got a boyfriend at the moment, but I'm hoping this will bring her luck and lead her to the right guy.

I enjoyed the cake-cutting and traditional Yum Seng, and had a lot of fun making a speech. Although I thought I would be nervous, I wasn't in front of so many people, and really took the time to enjoy myself and say what I wanted to say. I also relaxed and enjoyed the speeches my bridesmaids made, they were so nice and full of praise for me.

I didn't really have to the time to change or eat because I wanted to spend time with all my guests and made sure they didn't feel left out. Even with just 50 people, I found it hard to give proper attention to everyone so I really have no idea how people with 300 guests do it!

I was glad it turned out, like we wanted, to be a very informal event and guests left as and when they wanted. M and D even stayed back in our hotel room till 8pm, chatting with us over champagne and fruit, compliments of the hotel. The room was frankly pretty luxurious and one of the best we've ever stayed in. If you are curious about what we did on the wedding night- the answer is "nothing much"! We fell asleep at 10pm and didn't get up til 10am, almost missing breakfast! We were really too tired.

After a relaxing morning and a terrific breakfast this morning (it included a honeycomb for toast!) we longingly departed after a late checkout. Tomorrow we will leave for Hanoi, Vietnam for a 5-day holiday.

If you want to read more about our lives together, please visit my other blog.

p.s. Thank you for coming to our little luncheon, we were very happy to have had you there! :)
p.p.s Thank you my beautiful bridesmaids for being such a GREAT help! Love you girls!

The Eve

Tonight is my last night as a single girl! How scary!

In the morning R came at 0915 with the betrothal gifts. My mother cut and shared the cake and returned one box of wedding cookies, a few oranges and half of the dowry to him. At 1020, the girls and I left for the hotel for the rehearsal. I had with me bags and bags and bags of items for the hotel staff to lay out in the morning. We didn't finish till 1300 and went over to VivoCity for a quick catch-up and last-minute briefing over lunch.

At 1500, I went to Orchard Road to do my nails with H, and following that I went to pick up my bridal bouquet while H decided to go and get her hair done. The florist did a good job and put together a bouquet which suited our garden theme. The bridesmaids' bouquets also looked very pretty and so did R's corsage.

When I came home, I discovered that my ex-colleague Z had dropped off a gift for me. It was a pair of beautiful diamond earrings and a very pretty handwritten note with her well-wishes and advice. It was such an unexpected surprise and I thought it was a very sweet, thoughtful and generous gesture.

I also received a necklace from my aunt with very interesting diamonds cut in the shape of stars when seen under a magnifier. It is so pretty I've decided to wear it tomorrow.

In the evening R came over to my place for dinner and we had mooncakes, tea and pomelo. He bought me a rabbit lantern and we went for a walk around the neighbourhood and we thought we had the prettiest one compared with the others that the kids were carrying.

After dropping him off at the flat at 2130, we headed home and I spent some time preparing the items I needed for tomorrow as well as for the overnight stay at the hotel. It's now 2330 and I've done well.

I think I will try to get some sleep before I have to get up at 0500 to wait for the make-up artist.

I'm so nervous! I hope it will be good, cool weather tomorrow and everything goes well.

Day 1: ROM

I slept for 5 hours and got up at 6.30am to get ready to meet R and head to the Registry of Marriages to collected our Certificate. We wanted to get there to beat the queue so we arrived at 8.15am, 15 minutes before the office opened. There were already 4 other couples in front of us. I made sure we brought along all the right documents.

When the shutters began to roll back slowly on the dot at 8.30am, none of the couples made a move so we quickly walked up and took a queue number. In the end we were the first couple to be seen despite arriving later than some. We still don't know why they didn't step forward when the doors were open. Last minute hesitation?

The process took 10 minutes, and it involved checking our identification and taking an oath to state we made no false declarations. By 8:42am we were out of ROM and walking toward City Hall where I needed to go to the bank to get some cash.

We also grabbed a coffee and orange juice at McDonald's before heading toward IKEA in Tampines to get some red new bedsheets, as instructed by my mother. I had lunch at IKEA while R had a drink and then I had to go to have my facial. My beautician was extra gentle and careful while she was extracting the impurities from my face to make sure she didn't leave me scarred on my big day.

In the evening I helped R prepare the items for his Guo Da Li ceremony (2 red packets, 1 cake, 2 boxes of Xi Bing (wedding cookies), a few Mandarin oranges and a round red tray). He will take all these to my place tomorrow morning. R also had a haircut at the neighbourhood salon.

My Mum picked me up after this to head to Tampines Mall where she wanted me to pick some jewellery as her gift to me. I thought of going for a bracelet but in the end I chose a pair of earrings and a ring.

There were some problems with my phone so I had to go to the SingTel shop to get things sorted while Mum headed to the shops to get herself a pair of heels to match her Qipao. I also got a blouse for my helper to wear on that day.

On our way home in the car, I made a few last-minute phone calls to make sure people knew when and what time they had to turn up on Sunday. When I came home I spent hours packing the items I needed to bring to the hotel tomorrow for the one last meeting as well as preparing all the red packets.

Tomorrow night I'm hoping I will be able to get an early night since I have to get up at 5am to do my hair and make-up.

It's 00:43 and I think I should sleep now. My best man texted me, "You'd better turn in early otherwise you will have dark eye rings and you won't be pretty on your big day."

I think he's quite right.

Everyone, be prepared to meet the Panda on Sunday.

Day 2: Back home!

After a 27 hour journey from Bridgend-Stansted-KL-Singapore, I am finally home.

The AirAsia flight wasn't too bad and despite the fact we were delayed in London for two hours, we still made our connecting leg and arrived as scheduled. None of our luggages got lost, although we did have to pay £36 for 9kg of excess baggage in KL.

We were lucky we had a very friendly Australian girl who checked us in in Stansted and I was trying all ways and methods to distract her so she wouldn't notice or pursue the matter of our very overweight luggages. My plan worked. But in KL, the guy who checked us in was an Indian chap who wasn't as nice and didn't let us get away, but still, £36 is not too much to pay.

We spent the evening at home with my family, chatting over dinner. Grandma was overjoyed to see us, though we were both taken aback by how much weight she has lost. Still she is eating and sleeping well these days and hopefully the weight will pile back on soon.

After dropping R off at my mother's flat (which is unoccupied because we all live with Grandma), I returned home and started packing the guests' gifts. I didn't even stop for a shower before I did that even though the last one I took was probably 35 hours ago!

My mother was kind enough to help me with the ribbons and tags and together we finished the job pretty quickly. She is always good with art and craft and creative stuff so I was really glad she gave me a hand.

By the time I finished this it was 00:30 and I checked my emails - both work and personal - before finally taking a shower and hitting the sack.

Day 3: Off to Singapore

We are flying home today and we have such a long journey ahead, with a stopover in Kuala Lumpur. From today onwards I doubt I will get much sleep until after the wedding since we have so much to do. But I don't mind all the work, as long as everything goes well! I will be in touch again when we get to Singapore.

Day 4: Office Surprise

It's my last day at work today before I fly and also the day for our monthly staff meetings.

The first thing on the agenda was to present me with a card and gift vouchers. I was so taken by surprise I didn't know how to react!

It was so sweet, thoughtful and generous of everyone to chip in for the gift and I was really chuffed, not by the value of the gift but by their kind gesture.

Roger has also been coming home with cards given to him by his colleagues, and we have also received some from neighbours and other friends.

The neat pile of cards is accumulating in our spare bedroom and we haven't opened any of them yet.

We will when we return from Singapore, as man and wife.

Day 5: Speeches and Games

My maid-of-honour made a boo-boo yesterday! She accidentally emailed me details of the games they'll be playing in the morning with R and his entourage when he comes to collect me at my place.

When she realised her mistake, she wrote to make sure I wasn't going to tell R the answers. "I'll kiiiiillll you if R manages to guess it in like 5 seconds!!!" she threatened. It's been like 24 hours and I have done well. The girls' secret plan is safe with me.

The girls are also working on their speeches and the maid-of-honour this time, has reminded everyone not to repeat her mistake by sending the stuff to me, so there can be an element of surprise.

I can safely predict Sunday will be an emotional day for me, I'm just hoping I don't get too tearful!

Day 6: Mum steps up

My mother has taken a rather laidback role in the wedding but as the days draw closer, she has finally assumed the duties of the bride's mother!

On Sunday she phoned me to confirm she'll be getting the Double Happiness stickers, brew the longan tea, organise our temple visit in the morning and order some Lao Po Bing (Wives' Cookies) for R to bring to my house on the day of Guo Da Li (Delivery of Betrothal Gifts).

This will be on Saturday, Mid-Autumn's Festival. R will have to present some money, two Mandarin oranges, one cake and the Lao Bo Bing, to my mother and grandmother. In addition, we have prepared some traditional Welshcakes.

I'll let you know how we get on!

Day 7: Packing

We are flying Air Asia X and we only have a baggage allowance of 15kg. So I am only taking a few items of clothing while the rest of my bag is currently stuffed with everything I need for the wedding. Champagne, British snacks, gifts for family, all my artwork and DIY bits and pieces.

I have put the two bottles of champagne in two empty shoe boxes and wrapped them snugly with the clothes. Unfortunately, since we didn't buy them from duty free, we wouldn't be able to hand-carry the bottles and would have to fit them in the luggage. Still, there shouldn't be a problem if I make sure there is enough cushioning to absorb any impact the luggage might may subjected to.

I am almost done packing, all I need is to fit in my toiletries bag and sort out my hand luggage. Right now, I need to see to the mountain of paperwork for my visa application. I have even bought a 30-pocket clear folder to get organised- that gives you an idea of how many documents I have!

Day 8: The ring arrived

We left the ordering of R's ring a little too late and freaked out earlier in the week when we realised rings which fit his finger (read: chunky) were not readily available on the high street.

If we ordered them from the shops' warehouse, it would take a few weeks to arrive but we didn't really have that much time on our hands. I was really panicking but thankfully I found a jeweller online which had a wide selection of plain wedding bands in different sizes.

They were very helpful and prompt in processing the order when they realised we needed it urgently. We got the ring posted to us in less than four days and it is now safely packed in our bags.

Talk about drama.

Day 9: DIY my way #4

Today I finished designing my placecards and seating plan. I got them printed at the local printers and sliced them into the right size this afternoon.

I had originally toyed with the idea of getting a calligrapher to write each name on the placecards. There are so many people out there with beautiful handwriting (above) and their end products look so elegant.

But once again, it is not cheap so the other day I just decided that I should just design and make my own. I've also created a pin-up seating plan so guests can refer to it to see which table they have been assigned to.

Another item off the list!

Day 10: Best Man's Gift

We got our Best Man a gift and it arrived in the post today. It's really really red and we hope he will like it. We had been agonising over this for a while but hopefully it would be a gift my cousin will like and appreciate! Only time will tell.

Day 11: Last birthday as a single girl

I am happy today because it's my birthday and I'm spending it with R. He bought me a big bunch of flowers and gave me a card which on "For my Fiancee" on the front. He said from next year on he'll be buying cards which read "To my Wife". I think that's kinda sweet. 

And today we finally ordered all the accessories R needs. A nice white cotton shirt, tie and his ring. I hope they will be OK and arrive by the end of the week. 

My bridesmaids' hair accessories arrived from Arizona on Monday and they aren't really what I expected but I'm hoping the girls will look nice with them in their hair. 

So far, I know three people who have donated to the charities, so thank you once again Ms Wong, Ms Tong and Ms Low! 

I'm starting to feel very nervous as the day creeps closer! 

Day 12: Gymming

We joined the gym a few months back. We both needed to lose some weight to look good on our big day, so we've been regularly hitting the gym together. It's not my favourite activity and sometimes I feel so lazy I really don't want to work out. But it definitely helps that we are doing it together so we can spur each other on. I haven't seen the weight shedding dramatically but I am more toned and R can now fit into his old size 31 Levis. No pain no gain?

Day 13: Lifting

These few nights R has been practising lifting heavy me, just in case he is made to do it on the wedding day and finds he can't! Poor R. 

Day 14: To be PR or not to be PR

I have to apply for my spousal visa. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to continue working and living legally in the UK.

For the moment, R doesn't need to apply for Singapore Permanent Residency since we have no plans to move back to Singapore, but we thought he may as well just do it. The form is only a few pages long and the instructions seem fairly simple.

And do you know what's the best thing of all? It only costs S$100. Only 10 times cheaper than how much my UK visa fee is going to cost me.

This is so unfair!

Day 15: Paperwork

I've been finding I have little time to do the things I need to before the wedding. You see, it's not just about the luncheon. It's also about sorting a whole load of paperwork, and it's been difficult tracking if I've got every single thing covered.

For example, I need to prepare a list of documents we need at ROM in order for them to process our marriage certificate. I also need to put together a big folder of passport photos, bank statements, pay slips, evidence of correspondence, mortgage statements, and get them all photocopied in order for the British High Commission to process my spousal visa.

Then I need to get ready all our travel documents, R's Vietnam visa etc. And I need to go to the bank to withdraw all the moola we need to pay people for the wedding, and then get them converted to Singapore dollars when we get back. Then I need to send emails around to remind the contracted suppliers on what they've agreed to provide.

It's getter more and more intense as each day draws closer and I'm just so worried I might forget or lose something important.

Look at all the trouble I have to go through because I didn't choose to marry a Singaporean.

Phfffff....

Day 16: Didn't like the suit

R's mail order suit, shirt, tie arrived in the post today but despite how much they cost, we both didn't like the fabric or the fit at all. The jacket's supposed to be wool but it feel so rough and the fabric is so stiff and drapes so poorly. 

In the end we think he's better off wearing a new suit he has in the cupboard which he's never worn before. We'll return the purchase and go in search for a nice shirt, tie and shoes sometime this week. 

Grooms can be troublesome too. 

Day 17: I donated!

Woke up this morning to find that W sent me an email saying she has donated to LEPRA, one of our preferred charities, instead of buying us the Wedgwood giftware she initially wanted to get. 

She told me she felt very happy for being able to do something nice for the less fortunate and at the same time making our day by doing so. 

I'm really grateful that W took our wishes into consideration even though she could have gone ahead with her original idea. But the feeling of knowing that someone needy benefitted as a result of our special occasion really makes me so much happier than personally receiving a gift.

Today I came across another charity whose work I'd like to support after I saw this video. It's only 4 minutes so watch it and if you would like to help, please go to Save The Children UK to make a donation. Any amount will do, it doesn't need to be equivalent to the cost of a present or a cash gift to us. 

Or, you can also check out LEPRA and Somaly Foundation. 

To us, spreading the love is the most meaningful way of celebrating our love. 

Thank you! 

Day 18: The Wedding Planner

I started out with a great wedding planner at the hotel. She was very friendly, knowledgeable, helpful and accommodating. You know, almost like Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner. So organised and on top of things. 

But she also worked too hard and got burnt out so she quit before she had the chance to finish planning my wedding. We sat around the restaurant at our last meeting to have a cuppa and chatted like friends even though we had a purely business relationship. I was sad to see her go. 

And then I could have cried when her successor screwed up. I just didn't have good vibes about her in the beginning and then when she couldn't even get the measurements of the dining table right so I could buy some tablecloths, I had to seek help from someone high above. Enter her boss, who thankfully managed to redeem the reputation of the hotel through her excellent service and organisational skills. 

Because I have so many little DIY projects to do, I think I have a lot more requests than other brides. I needed to know the dimensions of railings, of tables, of table stands etc. And because I am not physically in Singapore I needed her to send me photos of everything. 

But she's always responded so promptly and positively, never grudgingly doing her job or answering my ton of questions, and that really makes me feel valued as a customer. There were things which I thought I'd have to do myself - such as decorating the napkins, preparing the tea set and tea leaves, bringing my own bowls for little snacks, but each time she'd tell me her staff will help out with these. 

My event generates only a small income for the hotel when you compare it with the traditional 20-table banquets but I have never been made to feel shortchanged just because I am not a big spender. 

It's always so satisfying and enjoyable when I get to work with people who do their best to ensure the job gets done, and properly too.  She's really making me enjoy the process of planning for my wedding rather than have to fret and freak out about things. 

Now I just have to hope she doesn't run off with my husband. 

Day 19: It fits!

The registered parcel from Singapore reached H in London last week and she sent me a photo this morning of her wearing her bridesmaid dress, looking very pleased. Despite the fact that things could have gone horribly wrong in this whole process - wrong fabric used, poor tailoring, wrong length, parcel lost or delayed, I'm amazed we had a happy ending. Thank goodness I didn't insist on all of them wearing the same shoes! It'd have turned into another saga. 

Day 20: Mother of the Bride Dress

My mother finally found some time during the week-long school holiday to look for her MOTB dress. To reflect her Chinese heritage, she wanted to wear a qipao, so I pointed her to Madame Butterfly at Takashimaya as I knew they had nice oriental designs.

Today she sent me a photo of what she bought there. I was unsure of the colour though the cut and design looked very elegant. I much prefer the creamy pink qipao she had made in Shanghai last year but I suppose it's going to depend which she'd feel the most comfortable in.

And I'm glad she has decided to go for a qipao, because not many women of my mother's age would have figures which look good in this body-hugging outfit and I just can't wait for her to flaunt what she's got.

Day 21: Bridemaids' gifts

After a 4 month search for bridemaids' gifts, I finally got everything I needed yesterday and put them all nicely in pretty boxes. It was difficult because again I took the effort to ensure every item is a British product. Though it took a little bit of time, I quite enjoyed scouring for the little bits and pieces to create their unique stash of goodies.

Day 22: Hair flowers

I wanted to get some lovely hair accessories for my bridesmaids but once again everything in the British high street shops were ridiculously expensive, so I decided to check out Etsy again. 

I got in touch with a fantastic lady who lives in Arizona and made her own hair accessories. She didn't have enough flowers in stock but she made the extra effort to visit different florists over several days to help me source for what I wanted. 

The best thing is her charges are very decent and she does not mark up on postage. I had such a enjoyable experience working with her on these hair flowers. 

Can't wait to get them in the post now. 

Day 23: Arrgh

For people who are planning to get married and having a celebratory meal, do let me warn you that the guest list and RSVP is the most most most frustrating part of the process. I wish I had knew this beforehand! I would have just kept it small. Heck I may not even bother having a party. 

There are the people who don't know if they would be coming, need to come or go earlier or later because of other commitments, need special arrangements, want to come then suddenly may not be able to come, don't want to come and then suddenly will pop up, blah blah blah blah blah. 

I want to tear my hair out. 

Day 24: VIP Favours

I decided to get these miniature Green & Blacks Organic Chocolate bars as favours for my family at the VIP table. But having to tie these thin ribbons around them was such a strain on my eyes and hands. The rest of the guests will receive something else, but they will too be British products. I have really made an effort to buy British as much as I can for the event and though that may not seem cost-effective, I have found that if I spend some time looking around, I can usually spot some good buys. I hope these will go down well.

Day 25: Ring Dish

I couldn't believe how much ring pillows cost. Something really plain and simple can easily set you back by £8 - £15. That's really a lot to pay for something which you use only for a few minutes.

Then, inspired by the beautiful customised clay white ring dish I came across on one of the wedding blogs I read, I decided that ring dishes may be a cheaper option.

I bought this light pink heart-shaped dish (which came with two other smaller porcelain containers) from a Dalmatian charity shop online for £3 and tied a short length of cream satin ribbon to secure the rings.

I must say I am pretty pleased with the result!

Day 26: Still sorting out

I am still continuing with my DIY but I haven't got time to post the pictures. Hopefully I will get time to do that tomorrow. I have run out of ribbons again, so I will have to make another trip this week to the haberdashery in the indoor market. 

I also had a last-minute inspiration to source some hair flowers for my bridesmaids so it's back to Etsy once again to see if I can get any good deals. Plus this week, I hope to find some time to package their gifts. 

Have lots to update these few days so stay tuned! 

p.s. have you rsvped? 

Day 27: Busy busy busy

This has been a busy week!

• Monday - Put together photo albums
• Tuesday - Tried on hair accessory bought on Etsy from a cute girl whose tagline is "wedding hair accessories which won't make you gag".Confirmed booking with photographer and videographer.
  
• Wednesday - Decoration bought on eBay turned out to be pretty rubbish so had it refunded and had to get something else
• Thursday -Sorted R's visa for Vietnam, made enquiries about Halong Bay cruise
  
• Friday - Looked at suits for R and booked Intercontinental Hotel
  
• Saturday - Went to get more ribbons, bits and bobs
• Sunday - Sourced for more hair accessories and research on Hanoi

In the coming week I'll need to make travel arrangements for Vietnam, do more DIY, pay the florist and finish writing my speech.

Day 28: His outfit

We spent some time today looking through the internet to see if there are any good suit packages. Initially R wanted to opt for the morning coat, but it really only looks good on men who are taller, so I think we'll go for the traditional suit instead. But with the suit made of wool, I'm hoping the poor guy will not suffer a heatstroke.

Day 29: You've got mail

If we had a bigger budget I would love to have these luxuriously beautiful letterpress invitation cards made, using traditional printing techniques. 

But since our ceremony is not quite so formal, we opted for something cuter and more personalised. 

The invites have been posted today, so do look out for them and let me know what you think! 

Day 30: 30 days

Aaaaargh! 30 days. One month. Four weeks. 

I am seriously freaking out. 

Day 31: No gifts please!

I remember when our managers at the College really wanted us to attend some events but couldn’t really force us to go, they would use the term “strongly encourage”. We would get emails which read, “Dear Colleagues, You are strongly encouraged to attend this talk at the auditorium on Friday.”

So I’m going to borrow their tactic for this purpose. 

My dear guests, you are strongly, strongly, strongly encouraged not to give us any wedding or cash gifts. We won't be able to bring all your gifts back to the UK as we have a very limited luggage allowance. Your presence would be the best gift you could present to us. If you really want to do something for us that would make us happy, we strongly, strongly, strongly encourage you to donate to our preferred charities.

LEPRA

LEPRA is a medical development charity with a mission to restore health, hope and dignity to people affected by leprosy and other diseases of poverty. We currently work in 9 of the world's most deprived countries covering a population of approximately 300 million.

Click here to donate!

The Somaly Mam Foundation

The Somaly Mam Foundation was set up in 2007 to support anti-trafficking organisations and to provide victims and survivors with a platform from which their voices can be heard around the world. Founded by trafficking survivor, Somaly Mam, the Foundation is dedicated to ending sexual slavery around the world.

Click here to donate!

Thank you for making our day! 

Day 32: The girls' dresses

I had no idea this would turn out to be a major international project spanning over 18 months and involving three countries, seven women and four dresses. 

It all began when the girls and I went on a holiday to Bangkok in March 2008 and decided to get the bridesmaids’ dresses sorted there and then. We spent the whole day looking around in different boutiques in the Siam Square area and finally found something that suited everyone in Kissi Kiss, a small shop run by a young designer.

With everyone happy with the design, the designer proceeded to tailor-make the dresses over the next few months. We relied on S to pick up the dresses because she makes frequent work trips to Thailand. But because H couldn’t physically get to Bangkok to be measured up, we had to give the designer one of her existing evening gowns as a guide to make her dress.

But S was too caught up with work in Singapore to make her usual trips to Bangkok in recent months to collect H's dress and had to ask her friend to do us the favour instead. We emailed the designer a few times to let her know we haven’t forgotten the dress and I telephoned her to tell her somebody was on her way to Bangkok to pick it up.

The dress arrived safely in Singapore last week and I believe is now making its way to a post office in Singapore to be mailed to H in the UK. Hopefully it should leave H with enough time to make any alterations if needed.

So much drama just for something different and affordable. Hope it’s all worth the effort! 

Day 33: DIY my way #3

I spent some time this afternoon sorting out some photos and putting them in albums. It's an affordable form of ice-breaker and entertainment.

Day 34: On The Outfit

I'm not sure if I come across to people as someone who would love to get married in a dramatic puffy gown. You know, the full skirt, long train, crystals and beading. The kind which will cost you an arm and a leg.

Most brides would easily spend a few thousand dollars on getting a wedding dress. One which they'd wear once and then keep in the cupboard for the rest of their lives. I'd rather spend that money on food, decoration and honeymoon.

While still on the search for a wedding dress, Z gave me some advice. She said I'm the type who suit classic styles and nothing too avant-garde. She is quite right, because any overly complicated dress would overwhelm my small frame and make me look literally "larger than life".

I was quite lucky because I roughly knew what could work for me when I went to a few small boutiques to try dresses on. I found something I quite like at Lavender, along Stamford Road, and the price was quite affordable too. But unfortunately, the seamstress went on maternity leave and wasn't able to tailor a dress for me.

Well this turned out to be a blessing in disguise. While continuing the search in the UK, I chanced upon a dress on the sale rack last Christmas, in the evening gown section of a departmental store.

The fit was perfect and was exactly what I'd wanted - something streamlined which wouldn't add bulk to my frame. It had some beading and quite an unusual design at the back. But all in all, it was a simple dress fit for an outdoor ceremony.

The hems of the long dress were quite black with dirt because I imagined it had been hung on the rail for quite some time. But I took one look at the price tag and decided to get it. Even with the cost of alteration and dry-cleaning factored in, it would still work out to be a ridiculously good-value purchase. Perfect, in my opinion, for a dress which you'd only wear once.

Shoes, however, I am willing to splurge on. These would be more of an investment since you can wear them over and over again. I didn't have much luck finding any until May this year when I managed to get a great discount on Christian Louboutin shoes. 

So I held my breath and walked into the store in Takashimaya to see what was available and there there they were, in my size, as if waiting for me all this while.

I have absolutely no idea how I'd look with the hair, make-up, accessories, dress and shoes in place since it's bad luck to put on the full outfit before your wedding day.

The suspense is killing me and I just hope there will be no drama. At least not in a disastrous way.

Day 35: DIY my way #2

If you go to sites like Etsy where people sell their handmade crafts, you'd find loads of cute wedding items such as pretty calligraphy place cards and beautiful table number signs. Sadly, they can cost an arm and a leg, so I decided to make my own!

It may seem difficult but it really isn't. I mean, you don't even need any kind of design software or special craft products. All I used was Microsoft Word, glue and scotch-tape.

I first downloaded some cute fonts online, then did the layout in Word. Next, I got them printed at the professional printers and sliced them into the size I wanted. Then I used some ribbons to decorate them before sticking them down onto A5 hard cards.

Yes they may not look perfect, but they only cost me a fraction of what I'd have to pay to have them professionally made. Yes it took some time and effort to DIY but hey, I had fun making them!

Day 36: To change or not to change

A few people have asked if I'm going to change my surname after getting married. I have been thinking about it. 

But I don't want to become Mrs Hope because then everyone will think I'm white when they only see my name. I don't want to strip myself of my Asian surname and identity. 

Anyway, there's another major deterrent. You see, if I adopt R's surname, I will become Mrs C. Hope. Doesn't mean anything to you? How about this? Mrs Chope? 

Can you imagine all the jokes which I'll be bombarded with then? "Eh Mrs Chope, go and CHOPE that table leh!" or "Eh your name Chope, you must be very good at CHOPING hor?" 

So I think I'll settle with Mdm Chen. 

Day 37: Something blue

I went over to R's sister's place today for a small gathering to celebrate her husband's birthday. While all the guests were busy eating in the living room, I popped into the kitchen to ask if her if I could borrow something old from her which I could wear on my wedding day. 

"It's funny you should ask, I've been thinking about asking you if you needed to borrow something," she replied. So we went upstairs to the bedroom where she showed me her jewellery collection, including a vintage pearl necklace and a 40-year-old bracelet.

Traditionally, a bride should borrow something from a couple who has been happily married for a long time, so that their marital bliss will rub off on her. While I was still deciding over what to borrow, she remembered she had bought me "something blue", a lace garter with a cute blue ribbon. 

She explained to me that it's a tradition for brides to wear stockings, suspenders, garters when they get married. I knew about having something new, something old, something blue and something borrowed, but I had no idea about having to put on the raunchy underwear. 

It's all too bad for R. I think he'd only find me in my Triumph tummy reducing corset, available in a very unappealing nude shade and in the form of enormous aunty pants. 

Day 38: Honeymooning in Hanoi

Before deciding to go to Hanoi for our honeymoon, we thought of many other places to visit. The list included China, Italy, Greece, France and South Korea.

But with us already spending money on the wedding, regular flights back home, doing up the house etc, we wanted to head to somewhere affordable. It had to be exotic, somewhere we both haven't been before, and rich in history and culture.

So when Tiger Airways had their awesome sale, we bagged the return tickets for about S$200 each. And when I read up on Hanoi through Kenny and Gigi, I knew it would be just the kinda place I like.

The plan is to stay at a small simple hotel on the first night, get on a luxury overnight junk to cruise World Heritage site, Halong Bay, the next day and then come back to stay at the Intercontinental Hotel for three nights.

We have never been the sort of splurge on five-star accommodation when we travel but I think this time, we'll make an exception.

Afterall, how many times can you go on your honeymoon?

Day 39: Something's Gotta Give

STARRING

R. Hope as Groom

Born and bred in South Wales but moved to the United States in the 80s. Married an American girl and became a radio presenter. Moved back to the UK in the late 90s and trained to be a nurse. Works in an orthopaedic ward at the hospital. Hobbies include going to the gym, couch surfing, bargain hunting, travelling and reading up on military history.

C. Chen as Bride

Left Singapore for Wales in pursuit of a job and her happiness. Currently develops a youth website for the government. Enjoys cleaning, tidying, nagging, organising, cooking, baking and blogging!

A. Tan as Best Man
Bride's cousin. He was the toddler in the bathtub when his Grandma had to go to the rescue of the bride when she smeared her eyes with chilli at aged 5. Played toy soldiers and He-Man with the bride.

M. Wang as Maid-of-Honour

Retail Operations Manager. Classmate from Ngee Ann Poly. Overseeing all details and supervising team of bridesmaids.

S. Cher as Bridesmaid
Boutique owner. Classmate from Ngee Ann Poly. Studied in the UK together with the bride. Responsible for getting bridesmaids' dresses from Bangkok. Reception duties. Emcee for the day.

J. Leong as Bridesmaid
Teacher. Classmate from Ngee Ann Poly. In charge of putting together wedding music, welcoming guests at lobby and entertaining the kids.

H. Wang as Bridesmaid
Works in Human Resources in a UK insurance firm. Originally from Tianjin, went to University with the bride. Reception duties. Mandarin emcee for the day.

Gala Premiere on Sunday 4 October 2009 at The Sentosa Resort & Spa. Ticket holders only.

Day 40: About us

I'm always curious to find out what keeps a couple together.

I think sometimes when you are in a relationship, you get used to the routine and you don't really ask yourself why you are with this man or woman. But I think it's important to reflect on what draws you to the person.

I know a few couples who are together because "He's easy-going and listens to me", "We're just used to it" or "It's been so long" and I think that's not really what marriage is about. You don't get married because you don't ever have disagreements, you get married because you love each other and are in love with each other.

When our relationship was going through a difficult time, my maid-of-honour M sat me down to ask me what I liked about R and I was stumped for a few moments. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly I like about him because I like different things about him.

He has my best interests at heart and makes me eat healthy food and go to the gym. He makes me laugh with his politically incorrect jokes and silly antics. He's not the most tactful but the points he makes do make me think. He waits for me at the train station and carries my bag when I come home from work, even though it's only a 2-minute walk to our house. He makes an effort with my family. He does the dishes after I do the cooking. He helps me with the cleaning even though I know he dislikes it. He gets me food in bed. He opens doors for me and carries all the heavy stuff when we go food shopping. He covers me with a blanket when I'm cold.

But most importantly, he accepts me for who I am. My accent, the way I look, the things I like, the way I am. Even though he doesn't eat meat, he hasn't stopped me from cooking or consuming meat. Even though he is not a Buddhist, he's asked if I'd like an altar in the house.

But of course, nobody is perfect. R has his flaws too. Sometimes he gets very impatient easily and enjoys getting into heated discussions because he is so opinionated. He also procrastinates a lot so I have to keep up with the gentle reminding. When he gets angry and grumpy, nothing will get into his head so I've learnt to talk to him only when he has cooled down.

We have had a challenging journey, full of ups and downs, breaking and patching up, and I have had people asking me, "Is it worth it? Is it worth going through all that trouble just to keep it going? Should relationships require such ridiculous amount of hard work?"

Well put it this way. After 10 years after knowing each other, I am still filled with the excitement of seeing him whenever I step off that train home.

For that reason alone, I think it's worth it.

Day 41: The two women in my life

One looked after me so that the other could go to work and provide for me.

My wedding day will be dedicated to them. The women I'd be so proud and honoured to kneel down and serve tea to.

The women who bathed me, clothed me, fed me and educated me. The women who cooked and cleaned, washed and ironed, all because they love me.

My grandmother looked after me when Mum went to work. If she hadn't, Mum wouldn't have been able to return to her teaching job just three months after having me. Back then, my grandmother lived in a semi-detached house with a nice garden. I grew up playing with the dogs and my cousin, who is four years younger than me. I was a tom-boy who loved to ride bikes, catch spiders, kill fleas, play with He-man and Lego.

My grandmother's favourite recollection of those days would be when she heard a loud scream from me while she was bathing my cousin. She told the toddler to sit in the tub while she came to the backyard to check on me. I had plucked off some chilli off the plant and smeared it all over my eyes. It stung bad and I shouted, "I'm going blind, I'm going blind!" She thought I was an idiot, and gosh she was right. What was I thinking? Not much I guess, if I was only five.

I cried during my first few days at the kindergarten, so my grandmother would come on the school bus with me and peep through the classroom window to make sure I was okay.

When I was six I had a terrible stomach bug which got me hospitalised. I couldn't eat anything and would roll around in pain. When I got out of hospital, my grandmother made me minced pork congee to take to school for lunch everyday. Twenty-two years on, I still remember that comforting taste.

When I didn't finish my rice, she would tell me I'd have a very husband with a lot of acne. So I always finished my rice, and she was right, my husband-to-be does not have pock-marks! Grandma may be illterate but hey she does know a thing or two.

Sadly her health has deteriorated rapidly in recent years. Nobody lives forever and neither will Grandma. It has always been her wish to see me get hitched and I know she will be the happiest person on that day. That's the reason why I'm trying so hard to plan a beautiful event where everyone, including her, will feel excited and happy about.

My mother had a hard life. She always said the two men in her life let her down. My father wasn't exactly the greatest husband in town and the nice man she became very close to after her divorce died suddenly of cancer. Since then she has decided she was better off on her own.

She is the strongest woman I know. She raised me on a civil servant's salary and put me through two degrees at British universities. She was firm with me but she showered me with lots of love too. She leads by example and always has interesting life's lessons to share. I know I can always go to her to advice. Because of that, I have a lot of respect for her.

Our relationship was a little strained during my growing up years but as I grew older she saw me more as an adult and started valuing my opinions and wishes. Although I knew she didn't like the idea of me moving to Wales, she still supported me by saying when she was younger she didn't follow her heart to do the things she wanted to. Now she wants me to go out there to get what I want so that I wouldn't have regrets like she does when I grow old.

My father will not be joining us on this occasion because my Mum would really prefer not to have him there. I feel bad for keeping him in the dark but I really want my Mum to be able to enjoy herself on that day rather than having to put up with the guy who caused her so much pain.

I owe my achievements to these two women who brought me up on the right values and outlook on life.

Join me in honouring them on that day.

Day 42: Been shopping

My Mum sent me a picture of the tea set and bowls she bought today for the tea ceremony. She even took the effort to arrange them nicely before taking the picture. So no prizes for guessing who I've inherited my creative genes from!

The bits and bobs I've been ordering online have also come in the post and I just need to visit a few other shops to pick up some other items. I also need to print off more designs and then I shall embark on my DIY projects.

Today has been good.

Day 43: Miscommunication!

I'm so glad I started this blog. It actually encouraged guests to share their thoughts on being involved and flag up little issues, like for example, how many people are included in one invite.

You see, I always thought invites were for one person. In the UK, if you allow someone to bring their spouse/partner/friend/child etc, you write "Mary Jones + 1". And in Singapore, during the wedding dinners I've been to, I haven't seen friends who bring their other half, so I happily assumed this was the norm.

Wrong!

Two of my married girlfriends wrote to tell me they're planning to bring their kids and spouses, which for a brief moment threw a spanner in the works, because silly me actually totally forgot to factor in spouses and children. Then I really started panicking when I got another email from L who asked if her daughter could join us too.

Panic time!

That's because I only have four tables (excluding the VIP table) and every seat really counts. I have since been frantically contacting everyone to ask if they'll be turning up with their loved ones, because I had so stupidly assumed they wouldn't.

But anyway, thankfully the invitation cards have not been sent out yet so I am able to make adjustments to them, and we are still able to keep the number of guests at 50. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say no to the rest who would like to have "plus 1"s because I won't be able to accommodate everyone.

Hopefully, it will all work out and the lesson I've learnt today is - don't assume. It makes an ass out of me!

Day 44: No obligations

I received an email from W yesterday. It was so out of the blue. She wrote to me after reading my entries on this blog and shared with me her feelings about her recently ended relationship. She was also honest enough to admit she thought about making excuses to wriggle her way out of attending my wedding, because she just wasn't in the mood to celebrate love.

I appreciate her honesty and her email really touched me. Not in a "aww, so sweet" way, but the fact that she felt comfortable enough with me to be so frank about her feelings. That's what friends are about. Being able to share our thoughts and feelings, even if they may not be happy, positive ones.

I would perfectly understand if any of my guests did not want to attend, for whatever the reason may be. I have quite a number of close friends overseas and I have agonised about whether or not to include them. In the end I left them out because I didn't want them to feel obliged to travel all that way and spend so much money just for this occasion. The last thing I want is to make guests feel obliged.

That's the whole point of having only 50 guests. After subtracting my family and my mother's friends, I am only inviting 20 pals. These are friends (yes they could have once been my colleagues, but are now my friends) who have known me for years that I WANT to invite. Not someone who joined the department last Monday, who I would have to feel obliged to invite and who would have to feel obliged to come, "show face" and give ang pow.

As guests, your feelings matter too. Like I told W, if I had just broken up with my boyfriend, I would be too bitter to want to go to a wedding and see a happy, loving couple. Some of us also, are just not so into weddings, and I don't expect you to pretend you're loving every minute of it. But some of you I can tell, are genuinely excited like me.

We are all different and we all have different inclinations and preferences. I've always liked weddings because I am the sad, soppy sort who believe in true love, and would seize every opportunity to see it in reality. I also like it because it gives me the rare chance to dress up and look pretty. I also like to sample different hotels' food.

But with my hand on my heart, I can definitely say I have never been to a wedding half-heartedly. There was one wedding I went to even though I knew I was going to meet my nemesis, but I still showed up. But there were also weddings I avoided going to because I didn't want to see people who were horrible to me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, come and join in the celebration if you really feel you want to, and if you value me as a friend, do what W did.

Be honest with me about your feelings.

Day 45: DIY my way

I left work a little earlier this evening to run a few errands. I popped by the printers to pick up the signages I designed. They look pretty good and I am quite pleased with the result. Their charges are quite reasonable too so I think I will get more items printed there because I really like how sleek it looked.

Then I headed to the ribbon stall in the indoor market to get some ribbon I needed for making the table number signs. I arrived at 4:55pm and the were just about to close. Luckily I knew what I wanted and quickly made a decision. I can't help but get distracted at haberdasheries.

Buttons, lace trimmings, ribbons, they are all so pretty but I often can't find many uses for them. But the wedding has presented me with the perfect excuse to buy beautiful ribbons in different textures and colours to create pretty details.

Next, I went to the stationers to get some hard card and spent a good few minutes agonising over pink or grey. Thankfully I made my mind up in time for me to catch the train home.

With all the materials at hand now, I just need to sit down and try to create something that'll at least look presentable and not what resembles a primary school kid's attempt at art.

Wish me luck!

Day 46: Keeping guests entertained

I think weddings are great fun if you know the couple and if you know the people whom you will be seating and eating with.

Sadly I have attended a few where I was dining with people I didn't know and it being a formal sit-down nine-course meal, I had to patiently wait for each dish to arrive, otherwise I would go home hungry.

But sometimes it can't be helped. You've got to place guests with others whom they may not know. I just don't really enjoy sitting there looking at strangers awkwardly for two hours. Sure, I can make small talk and get to know people, but it also depends what kind of strangers you get at your table.

Once, I got into a very heated discussion with one uncle at my table, who lamented loudly about the large number of spinsters in Singapore. The single women at our table just went quiet. "Why?" he asked me. "Why don't girls want to get married?" It was such a a Bridget Jones moment, except I don't think uncle would have understood if I answered, "Actually underneath our clothes, we are covered in scales."

So you can the drift. It can be painful when all you want is to be there to congratulate your pal, who looks absolutely smashing but sadly is too preoccupied to say hi.

We don't have a big enough budget to hire a band, singers, sword swallowers, magicians or jugglers. Both R and I are so bad at dancing we won't even try to embarrass ourselves.

We won't have any "our love story" powerpoint slides either. What do you think this blog is for? It's for guests to get to know us in theory before meeting us in person.

The only entertainment I guess, is us. I want to be in a comfortable dress where I can go around and sit with guests, not just being confined to my VIP table. I want to catch up friends who will be there to celebrate with us, especially M and H who will fly in from Dubai and the UK. We want to talk to people who are interested to find out about Wales and what it's like.

For guests who feel a bit shy about sitting with people they don't know or worried when the conversation dries up, there's always that excuse to head to the buffet table. You don't have to wait to be served. All the food is there for you to pick and choose so you can eat however much or little you like.

There are also little things I'll put together to keep you engaged. There are areas in and out of the dining area you can explore- chase a few peacocks, go for a walk, come back and snap more pictures and eat more food.

There is no official going home time. You know, when all the lights come on after that sticky Orh Nee (sweet yam dessert- often the last course), and guests dash out to make the last train home.

Go home when you need to, or whenever you want to. I won't be standing at the doorway to shake your hand but I can walk you to the lobby and I'll even let let you lie on the bed in my hotel room before you go if you like.

As long as we all have fun.

Day 47: A cute vintage wedding

Ever since I attended a wedding at the Lower Terrace lawn at The Sentosa Resort & Spa some six years ago, I knew that would be the place I'd want to get married at. The area has a small but perfectly manicured lawn with the sea and lush tropical plants as the backdrop.

Most people in Singapore hold their wedding dinners at hotel ballrooms, where guests who may or may not know each other sit down at tables and waited to be served. When the time is right, the couple will then walk into the ballroom when the dramatic music starts, the spotlights shine and the dry ice fogs up. With usually over 200 guests gathered at the occasion, the couple barely has enough time to speak to everyone.

After attending a few dinners, you soon realise they are all pretty well executed in the same format. My girlfriends and I discussed about this. Why aren't Singaporeans interested in doing something different? Don't they want their wedding receptions to be unique? Why do the decor and style always look the same?

I suppose when you have so many guests, what's most important is ensuring that the food is good. And when you have to set aside a bigger budget to ensure the food is of the best quality, you are often left with little money to play around with the decor. Or perhaps, Singaporeans just aren't that fussed about decoration and themes.

By having a small reception, I've realised I am able to customise many details. The idea is to have something fun, something interesting, something cute and pretty, and definitely something different. An event where people can relax and enjoy, rather than feel awkward and out of place.

I draw my inspiration from the US, which has a very well-developed wedding industry, leading the world with its innovative ideas and trends. A typical wedding in the States costs US$50,000 but I have a very small budget.

The materials needed to create the cosy vintage feel I so much desire are hard to come by in Singapore, or even in the UK. I try my best to source items of the closest match to the style I want, and when it is simply too expensive to do so, DIY is my alternative.

With me being so far away from the venue yet still needing to come up with decoration ideas, I have to rely on my imagination quite a lot of the time. That, plus my sketches to help put a rough visual together.

I'm not sure if we'll be able to pull off my big plans but I suppose if all else fails, at least we can still bask in the company of our close friends and family, over bucks' fizz, chatter and a sumptuous spread.

Day 48: Wedding clutch

I was shopping in Cardiff on Saturday afternoon, looking out for a simple yet pretty clutch which I can use to hold my lipstick, safety pins, hair clips, tissues and other necessities on the wedding day.

I didn't want anything expensive so imagine my joy when I saw this lovely bag at 70% off in Accessorize, discounted to £6.60 from £25.

I love the ornate clasp as well!

Day 49: Thank god for bridesmaids!

It is so difficult trying to coordinate a wedding when I’m not physically there.

Some people have asked why I’m getting married in Singapore and not in the UK. The reason is simple- it is cheaper, the food is better but most importantly, it would have been very expensive for my family and friends to fly to the UK for the wedding. And it is important to me that they are able to join us in the celebration because they have seen me grow, walked with me through difficult times in my journey, gave me advice and loved me for who I am.

Unlike many other girls, I never had a romantic surprise marriage proposal nor a massive gleaming rock. R just took me to a jeweller in Orchard Road on the last day of his holiday in Singapore a couple of years ago and I picked out a diamond ring I liked. It didn’t look like an engagement ring and the way we went about buying it certainly didn’t make me feel I was getting engaged, so I always saw it as a token of love.

This happened during a time when we were desperate to make things work. We got into a terrible, terrible fight just months before that and split up for some weeks. But we decided to give it one last shot to see if we could reconcile our differences and make the relationship work. It was hard and it involved many tearful, sleepless nights.

That major argument we had took the relationship to a new level. We sat down to talk how we felt. We talked about our future. We decided to get married, but first, we would try to live together. That was in fact my mother’s idea as well, because she said “You haven’t even spent much time together. How do you know it will be OK?”

In January this year, we booked our wedding venue at The Sentosa Resort & Spa after living together for six months. We both wanted a cosy intimate affair, surrounded by family and friends who know and genuinely care for us. We made it a point not to invite people for the sake of doing so, i.e. acquaintances or friends we haven’t even been in touch with for years.

I’ve been back to Singapore in May and tried to sort out as many details as I could. I ordered the wedding cake, bought the guest book, went shopping with my cousin to get his best man’s outfit, got the invitation cards, designed the layout, booked the make-up artist and wedding photographer, met the florist and got my bridal shoes.

The wedding coordinator from the hotel is the third I have worked with since January. The first was brilliant but she quit. The second didn’t have what it takes to manage a wedding so I complained. And so I am on to my third. She is the department’s director and she is absolutely wonderful. I can finally now sit back and relax.

Because I am away, my bridesmaids are almost entirely running the show for me. My maid-of-honour supervises the others to make sure everything gets done. From compiling the music to collecting the bridesmaids' dresses from Bangkok, preparing invitation cards and posting them to printing of labels for wedding favours.

On some nights I dream about being there with them, working on the DIY stuff, getting everything ready. But there is no need to worry really, I can't be in safer hands.

Day 50: The beginning

Welcome to Fifty Sleeps!

I recently got the inspiration to start an online diary to detail wedding preparations leading up to the big day in just 50 days.

It hasn't been an easy journey, by this I mean preparing for the wedding as well as our years together as a couple.

We began our story on 15 June 1999, the day we met at the British Museum in London. Weeks before that, I was researching online for information in preparation for my week-long holiday to the UK and he was keen to find out more about visiting Southeast Asia. We exchanged a few emails and decided to meet at the Museum.

We spent the next eight years living 7,000 miles apart, only flying to see each other twice or thrice a year, with each trip lasting no more than three weeks at a time. We spoke on the telephone and MSN almost everyday.

In 2007, we decided to make plans for a life together in the UK. So in August 2007, R bought a four-bedroom house in a small town some 25 km west of Cardiff, the capital city of Wales. I quit my teaching job in Singapore in May 2008 and joined him in the UK in July 2008.

We have never lived together nor spent more than 21 days consecutively together. The next 12 months we spent together were challenging as we learnt to adjust to each other's habits and styles. I spent my first few months here looking for a job as well as helping out with home improvements.

Miraculously, despite our vast age gap, years of living apart, differences in culture, religion and upbringing, and not to mention initial family resistance, we actually made it. Sure, we fight but I'd like to believe our shared values and love for each other are the reasons which really keep us together.

Getting hitched is only the beginning. The start of a brand new journey for us. There are plenty of hurdles and challenges in the foreseeable future but strangely, I must say I can't wait for the ride.